LONDON -- In "things-that-capture-our-attention-because-of-their-phallic-shape" news,Emmanuelle – The Sex Lives Of Ghosts (2004) Avon and Somerset Police released a map that some social media users very astutely noted resembles "a giant red penis."

Sigh. Really guys? Really?

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Okay yes, that is definitely very penis-like.

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The map was issued on Monday as part of an appeal for witnesses to an assault in Shirehampton on Friday, and has since been updated to a more mundane shape.

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In a BBC article, a police spokeswoman is quoted as saying, "This is a serious appeal for information after a man was left in need of hospital treatment following a violent assault.

"Whatever the map may have resembled should not distract from the severity of the crime and our request for help from the public."

Quite right. To that end, the 26-year-old victim remains in critical but stable condition, and a 27-year-old woman and a 30-year-old man have been arrested and subsequently released on bail pending further inquiries.

Internet, grow up.